Fortune Teller

I can see into the future. It's no lie. I see me searching last minute for something specific. Trailing all over town, looking in all the local stores as desperation sets in. I start considering the purchase of items I normally would pass on by. I can narrow this down even more to an exact date! What other soothseer or sage could do this? It will occur on the eve of the 27th of the merry month of May, mark my words. How do I do this? Crystal ball? Tarot cards? Tea leaves, a rubric system, scrying?

By KNITTING, my friends, by knitting. You see, I am doing what no knitter should ever attempt to do---create a sweater to wear to an important event that is less than a month away. It all started in a bookstore, which I won't name here to avoid any litigation for slander. So I'm in this large bookstore in front of the knitting books and I'm browsing. There is a group of women off to my right on some couches and such knitting who basically ignore me even though I'm purusing KNITTING books (which I thought was very rude of them). So I'm looking through all sorts of books--books on cabling, books on baby-wear, books on knitting items for the home. I then stumble on a book I had considered purchasing a while back. Alterknits by Leigh Radford.

I flip through the book again, looking to see if there is any of the initial magik, that rosy glow of loveliness about the pages that made me consider it long ago. And there it was, my source of inspiration, my muse. The Sweater.

I had just bought a $20 skirt in Target. To wear to two weddings. I originally planned to buy a proper dress, the kind that would make heads turn and people sigh as I walked, no floated, past them. The kind of dress you put on and feel happy in, just cause you're in it and know it's cute and it makes your butt look good. I tried on some dresses but none were The Dress. Some were ok, some were awful, and some did not even fit. The Dress was proving to be elusive.

Then came The Skirt. As I checked out some pants in Target, I spied a light grayish blue frock, 100% cotton and light as air. Thoughts of floating resurfaced. I tried it on and thoughts of dresses drifted away...so I left with the skirt (and the pants and some cute underwear).

So now I am in Giant Mega Bookstore Land and I decide I will make up my own pattern for the corset-style tank sweater from Alterknits. The Sweater. I study the picture, close the book and head to Michael's two stores away for yarn. I leave with 6 skeins of white Lion brand Microspun, my head swimming with visions of my wedding wear.

Not a whole lot of hope is left. Time is running out. Can this dream be saved? Has anyone else out there ever done this? Will The Sweater be completed in time? Or am I the best fortune teller this side of the Mississippi? Tune in to find out!